Miss Cajun Okie

*this is for my dog, the last one of the gang I grew up with...she's so old now, and every time I come home she looks so much worse... she's got a sort of canine alzhiemer's ... mum says she won't live to see spring... I sobbed my eyes out last night, sitting there running my hands over her head and shoulders in endless, repetitive circles... then my mother cried with me, and told me not to let Okie see that I was upset... and then I went upstairs and wrote this...(btw, “red and blue days” is reference to the plains Indians [Sioux, Navajo, and Apache] belief that each direction is not only associated with a color but also with a stage of life; red and blue are associated with the east and south, also associated with youth) *

I know of an old, proud dog who doesn't know me anymore
A lady for whom the end of wind-racing days draws nigh
One who gazes upon me with rheumy eyes,
Eyes that speak of wisdom she can no longer grasp
I remember that those eyes once danced
I remember when that long muzzle once grinned
She looks up at me, lost…
I remember...
...pain seizes my chest

I know of an old, proud dog who can no longer climb the stairs
A tottering, speckled, thin legged racer
Who must at times be carried
I remember her in the summertime of her life,
The red and blue days...
Twirling and prancing as if fire ran in her veins

I know of an old, proud dog who has seen her companions die,
One by one...
And who does not understand why her human puppies leave,
Time and again...
I remember her laughing,
Her big heart singing of speed
I remember...
...and I wish to lie down beside her,
And take her death within me
I wish to have that youngling back...
...To have this old, proud dog live forever in my mother's house

I mourn…
…why must we live so long?

oddity

i spoke with byron today... and it was like talking to an old friend whom i hadn't spoken to in years... i mean, i had no sense of dread, and he had no insults to throw my way... before i signed off i promised to speak with him agian, and i actually meant it... for the first time, i wasn't relieved that the conversation was simply over... either i mellow with the passage of time, i forget to be the victim, or it's just that micheal is begining to heal my heart... prehaps it was big enough to heal on it's own to begin with? anyway, he's leaving state at the end of the semester and going out to san francisco... where i hope he will be happy...
i think i'm getting soft in my old age, really...
:)

ASU Spring Semester Class List

Chemistry (lecture)- 3 hours credit
Zoology (lab and lecture)- 4 hours credit
Begining Latin II (placed high enough on the entrance exam) - 3 hours credit
Calculus and Geometry- 3 hours credit
Magic, Witchcraft and Religion- 3 hours credit

* so that's three classes every day and a lab on Monday... i don't know if i should call my self a sadist or spaz with the joy of a challenge...*

fuck yea

i'm through, i'm past the hurdles, i'm done, i'm in

I AM A BROTHER OF KAPPA KAPPA PSI.