i've decided to be realistic and admit defeat: i will not graduate in three years. especially in light of the fact that even though i am only taking three science lectures this semester, one band class, one anthropology class and one lab, i'm dying here, every time i pull my grade up in one class, it falls in another three... so i've decided to admit that not only will i have to take summer classes (something i was prepared to do anyway even though summers are the main money making opportunity for me, i can get financial aid for those classes too), i might have to extend my stay at ASU by a semester... i know standard graduation time is 5 years anymore (ridiculus) but i came in with almost 2 semester's worth of credit (1 credit short) and i really wanted to get out of here and onto the wild wet world of marine biology land... hopefully by getting my masters and doctorate in england or someplace...(someplace where they speak english that is not here... i will always be american, and i like being american, we have wonderful stuff going for us over here... but i wish to be it somewhere away from the rest of the americans). i think i have 2 A's, 1 D, and probably 2 C's which gives me about a 2.5 with 5 weeks left in the school year to pull it up. which definately means i lose the New River Power and Light scholarship ($1,000) b/c that requires a 3.0 and it might mean i lose my biology scholarship, i'm probably going to lose my academic scholarship, as that requires a 3.0 as well, i believe, but i still have finacial aid, and moving in with sarah next semester is going to drop like, $2,000 to $3,000 from my tuition (as in dropping dorm and meal plan and shopping off campus for food = way cheaper), so it might just even out... i plan to get a good job this summer, somewhere other then fast food, since i retained not a red cent from my employment time there... i might even try the labor contractors in town (Able Body and that other one) and do construction or something this summer... mum says she'll pay for things, but i really don't want her too... i mean, it's my choice to go to college, and she's got her own stuff too, and ever since i was old enough to get a job, i've been working, so i just feel horrid whenever i can't meet a payment on some thing because i had to get a more laid back job (4hrs a week) because working at hardees was interfering with my studies...
it's just.... i've never been stupid before... i've been lazy, that is true, which is why my high school grades were average, but this is the very first time in my acedemic career that i've really had to crack a book and it's left me baffled as to where to start... i need to talk to my professors... Klima (Calc., grade of D) doesn't give extra credit, Butts (Zoology, probably a C) curves and gives extra credit, Holder (Chemistry I lec., probably a C) is giving extra credit but i dunno if he curves, and so far Magic, Witchcraft & Religion and Community Band are sailing along at A's so that i don't have to worry about, i just have to show up for the rest of the Band classes and the final concert and do well on my MagWaR project and those will take care of themself...
everyone tells me that they all had to repeat classes and drop classes and that sort of thing, but i don't want to repeat anything... i just don't think it a good use of my time and the state's money... plus, if i didn't get it the first time, how the hell can i expect myself to get it the second time around, when i'm ashamed of myself?
at least i'll be conditional next semester, so i won't have another night like last night when i didn't get back to the dorm until midnight and then some asshole went out the firedoor and we had to evacuate the building and stand in the cool drizzle... so it was after 2 when i finally got to sleep... i love KKPsi, i mean, being a part of this frat has meant a lot to me, even with some of it's inherant problems (myself = non-social animal, frat = socialness nearly to the point of communal grooming) but it's a time devourer... and i need my thursday nights and pledge activity nights
i'm not yet at the point of despair, and some part of me is still all bubbly and cheerful and is still convinced i'm going to make it out of here in two more years with a fabulous average, magna cum laude... but for the most part, i'm revising my time estimate upwards by at least a semester...
