it's surpriseing how much something one says in anger can be thrown back in one's face, surpriseing to come to the realization how little people think of one... but then, truely, if they didn't care... why are they polluting my livejournal with their venom? it is the greatest form of egotism that allows us to think that our words can affect anyone. and when they do, it is even more narsisic to think that we are the cause of the debate, for it is only that everyone wants to speak of themselves, for themselves... and giving someone an opening is like asking for a verbal gun to the head...
it might feel good to finally say something harsh... and even if i can count off three people as 'casulties of war' i shouldn't have done it. i should have bitten my tounge and bowed my head and simply faded away as i have done so many times... prehaps i needed the anger? prehaps the hatred and rudness gave me something i normally do not allow myself to express, or at least, try not to express... my control is not exactly stable yet...
i will never choose between blood and friendship...
this is an apology for those who have wondered why my LJ has been graffited by people that were once friends... excuse me, and kindly overlook my battlezone of a comments page...
i feel nothing for the loss... it was nice to know them... but now it is time for them to join with the others that i have 'disapointed'...
it might feel good to finally say something harsh... and even if i can count off three people as 'casulties of war' i shouldn't have done it. i should have bitten my tounge and bowed my head and simply faded away as i have done so many times... prehaps i needed the anger? prehaps the hatred and rudness gave me something i normally do not allow myself to express, or at least, try not to express... my control is not exactly stable yet...
i will never choose between blood and friendship...
this is an apology for those who have wondered why my LJ has been graffited by people that were once friends... excuse me, and kindly overlook my battlezone of a comments page...
i feel nothing for the loss... it was nice to know them... but now it is time for them to join with the others that i have 'disapointed'...
posted by silver at 6:35 AM
4 Comments:
I LOVE YOU SARAH!!!!!
merci robert-chan!
okies, mixing my languages, but i'm glad you don't think of me as the big bad evil chibi that has made the grave and stupid choice of defending her sister...*heaven forbid i do such a loyal thing!!!* i know han would do it for me, to the death if need be, and strangly enough, i would defend my friends... wait... *tee-hee* anyhow, i'm still friends with the people i really cared about in high school,*take a bow* even if i hardly ever get to see them *sob*... herm, i actually have friday morning off... see you then!
really though... what did they think was going to happen? i might be oblivious, but i'm not deaf...
OMG! Sarah called me a chan!:)
I doubt that you would ever hurt anyone, even unintentionally, and the once-friends are assholes if they don't see that. I would die for you too, as I would anyone else. I think that is standard for a relationship to work. You are not evil, (I think that chibi is actually somthing else. You were refering to the demon that sleeps with men in their sleep right? I think that it is spelled differently.) and you are still the cute little Sarah I remember attaking me with hugs in the band room. Where IS your LJ? I forgot, and haven't been there since its formation.
chibi is japanese for shorty... which, as is increasingly obvious as it appears i will NEVER stop growing (no complaints), i am not at all... my livejournal is under the username silberfeuer at livejournal.com :)
LURVE to you and jeff-san, who i think is the taco guy...
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