sat night's alright for fighting....
at any rate, my day got off to a bang...i i swear i heard my alarm go off, so i get up, concerned only with the fact that it is 21 after the hour and that i have overslept and will be late to work...so i dress at lightspeed and sprint to the car, screehing into hardees on the dot of when i think i'm supposed to be in...problem? hardee's is dark, nothing stirs...hermm, thinks i, maybe something has happened and we are closed...i look at my clock, still very puzzled...and realise, stupid retard that i am, it is 4 o'clock in the morning, a full two hours before i'm supposed to be on shift... so i cruise around boone, looking for a place to hang out until 6 (if you grew up where i did -area around greensboro-, you do NOT sleep in your car if you are alone, especially not in the city limits and not in the dark) yeah, nothing is open at 4 in the morning in boone, and when i say nothing, i mean everything shuts down at ten at night... i go to the grocery stores, 24hours, 7 days a week grocery stores abide in boone, oh joy, joy... every single one i go to is closed for floor maintenence..how weird is that...so i do end up sleeping in my car, in the hardee's parking lot, covered in every scrap of clothing we have (han is a packrat in the car) to keep from freezing to death...cause it's like, 34 degrees in boone last night...i find this the most hysterical thing to happen to me this week, which, considering it to be the week from hell ( got sick, got dumped, failed yet another ap bio test-i mean really, i fail when i study, what's up with that???- etc...), is pretty damn awesome...
this whole thing is getting ridiculus...i want this to be over... i want to be friends... forget i ever dated anyone (we have a lot of the same friends, so this is going to be akward in most social situations), forget i was ever anything but a loner, ever anything but everyone else's relationship advisor...see, that's the problem with me, this is my first major breakup, ever, and i'm thinking i'm being ridiculus and whiney, nothing is ever enough to me...i never think anything is pushing too far, i thinki over react and blow things out of porportion, when everyone around me is going, "holy cow!", i don't think i've ever been in a situation where i've gone, well, this is quite enough, i have a right to get angry/hate someone/beat someone up...i think i'm taking things to the extremes and being silly and stupid, and i desist, even when i have every right to do so, or in fact to be the angel of death or whatever, and i'm not talking about this whole break-up, i'm talking about everything...nothing is ever enough for me to get truely passionate about...emotional, yes, but passionate? wrathful? vengeful? no, nothing is ever enough...i need to invest in somehting destructive sometime, see what it's all about... maybe i'm just lazy...
at any rate, if my nice friendly person (who i don't know who is) who is sending me e-cards is reading this, thank-you, how did you know that was what i needed? i get the feeling i should recognise the address, but i don't (stoopid git that i am.. *blushes*)
ok, random talkings, stupid anecdote, ranting, thanks given...yeah, i think i covered everything :)

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